Yesterday was my dear friend Jenny’s birthday. And I want to dedicate today’s post to her.

I came to Brisbane at the end of February 2004 and I was provided with an accommodation at a student dorm, called The Lodge — only two minutes from my college campus. I lived in the second floor girls-only area. I got along well with all the girls there, except Jenn. First of all, I didn’t know that she lived two doors beside me until few months afterwards. And second of all, she was never around! I never saw her chilling out in our living room. I always saw her with a bunch of guys living in the 6th floor and I previously thought that she lived in the same floor as them. I couldn’t recall the time when I was introduced to her, but we eventually said hi everytime we bumped into each other. It was very brief, short, and formal.

It was not until the time we traveled to Sydney (arranged by our college) that we started to really talking to each other. It turned out that I was assigned to sleep in the same hostel room as Jenn’s. Jenn was not the kind of person who smiled a lot and that made me reluctant to have a conversation with her because I thought she was not friendly . But after our first tiring day exploring Sydney, I got the chance to talk to her before going to bed and she was actually a very nice person!!! To my surprise, she immediately became so open to me about love and relationship. And that was the beginning of our friendship.

Since our Sydney trip, we often hanged out together for dinner or movies. We had quite many interesting conversations along the way. We felt good about each other and we felt connected. And at that time she asked me whether or not I wanted to move together with her. I was sooo surprised when she asked me that! So, Jenn, Mayu (another friend), and me lived together in an apartment for 3 years, before all of us separated miles away and lived in different continents.

Jenny was an amazing friend. I cannot have a better word to describe about her! She was very wise and much more mature compared to other girls in her age (well, including me!). Everytime I had problems, she would sit down with me, listened patiently to my endless complains and useless stories, gave me comfort, and provided me with many wise advices that I could choose from. I really loved the way she looked at each problem. Somehow, she could always see and view it much wider and better than I did. And that’s why I relied on her when there were difficulties. Not only could she make me feel so much better, but she was also like a problem-solver, my version of Dr. Phil. She made my life so much easier.

If I could mention one person who changed my life and was responsible for my own transition of being a girl to being a woman was definitely Jenny. As far as I could remember, she was the first friend of mine whom I had serious and deep discussion with. I was forced to think and answer her (hard and tricky but intelligent) questions which I personally never been asked before. I was forced to give my opinion and be critical on the things I wasn’t familiar about. It wasn’t so much because the topic was rare, unique or too serious, but it was more because of my ignorance on many issues around me. Sometimes it was just about simple things related to our lives and for some reasons, it never crossed my mind before! Yes, I was too ignorant and uncaring sometimes; but through Jenn, I was able to gradually change myself and be introspective.

Not only that, Jenn was one of my role models. Just by looking at her characters and behaviors, she quickly became an example and a reminder for myself. She influenced me to be a better person for myself and for others (without her acknowledging it). I love how considerate, loving, and caring she was to other people. I love how she treated others, as if they were her treasure. I love how fair and wise she was about many things. I love how she used to ask about my day during dinner time as if it really mattered to her. I love how open she was, especially when it came to relationship and friendship. And I love how she handled conflicts she encountered (including little problems at our house).

She was in fact like my “second” mom (and I did call her “mom” sometimes ). She took care of me as if I was fragile and a little kid. She never failed to call me whenever she found out I hadn’t reach home by 10 pm — asking me what time I would reach home and whether or not I needed to be picked up from the train station / bus stop. She would remind me to eat veggies or healthy foods all the time — and thanks to her, I eat healthier foods now than before. When I was sick, she would take care of me, cook me a porridge, and never let me get out of my bed (except for something really important, of course. e.g. toilet ). I was so blessed and thankful to have such a wonderful friend! But at the same time I felt sorry that sometimes I couldn’t be a good friend to her like she did to me. I wasn’t mature enough; but she was very patient to deal with me. I should have done more for her. Her kindness couldn’t be paid back in any ways. And the only thing I can do now is to be a better person and to treat others fairly just like she did.

During our almost-four-year of friendship, we became dependent to each other. I remember during my last few months in Australia, she kept telling me, “Amalia, I don’t know how I can live without you.” Of course, it sounds weird to say it (which usually be told to our boyfriend/girlfriend), but this was a proof how close we were back then. At that time, I just wanted to cry. And I did cry when we finally bade farewell. I just couldn’t resist it. I felt like I lost my other half!!! I still remember she gave me a travel book about Berlin and wrote this short note:

Dear Amalia,

Hey sexy, the time has come for you to once again spread your wings and embark on a brand new adventure. Thank you for the memories and the laughs we’ve shared. You’re an exceptional gal! This book and my warmest blessings are my graduation gift to you. This gift is meant to accompany you and motivate you as you begin the next chapter of your life: postgraduate studies. My most heartfelt wishes to you for your studies, career, marriage, and motherhood. Show those Arabic women what it truly means to be a real woman!

Love and miss you,

Jenn

It’s been two years since we said goodbye and up until now, I still miss her. I really do. We keep in touch. We write emails, messages, letters, and cards. We can’t be as close as we were back then, but we try so hard to keep the light on. We won’t let the light to fade away. And I’m sure one day we’ll be able to meet again. Maybe in Japan. Maybe in Indonesia. Maybe somewhere in between.

Love you, Jenn!

* Photo taken in a cozy cafe in Southbank, Brisbane, Australia. L-R: Mayu, me, Jenny